Hi bloggie,

Have been a full time housewife for the second week now after confinement. I am feeling bored but also happy to be spending time with Im. His schedule is still quite erratic, like now, he is sleeping when so far over the last one week, he is usually awake.

Still trying to be occupied and try to do as many things as I can.. but have to do things around his schedule. I have been practising my make up and hair as well over the afternoons. I hope I can do my fren's wedding well.

Motherhood

Hi Bloggie!

Enjoying my afternoon drinking coffee and blogging here during my confinement. Imm is beside me now, sleeping as usual. Time seemed to hit a standstill after I delivered Imm last Tues evening. Everything is like so surreal. The outside world seemed so far away from me now. No worldly cares either. The only thing is about feeding baby, pumping milk, eating similar kinds of confinement food, bathing in herbal water, watching tv etc. Ya... sometimes the brain feels kind of empty.

Trying to cope with my new role as a mother. It's kind of fun and fulfilling in a way but tiring at times when I have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. I realised that breastfeeding is really an art man.. hee.. ya but I think I am learning well, after consulting with experienced friends. I think that nature is so amazing, you will produce milk according to ur bb needs.

So far so gd, I am waiting to regain my freedom soon. Frankly speaking, I cannot stand this confinement nonsense. haha.. but again, I can't tahan the nagging from parents and relatives if never follow:(

Hi bloggie!

One more month or less than that! I am looking forward to the birth of Im Im.. it's weird, yesterday, I was watching this dvd abt experience of first time parents and just after seeing one story, I just started to cry, cos I found it so touching, the mother cried and cried after giving birth and I just cried along with her. Haha.. found it quite funny now:) The miracle of birth is just so amazing to me!

I am trying to accomplish as much as I can also.. doing what I want before I get tied down.. my leave starts in 2 weeks time.. so I hope Im wun come out earlier than that.. hehe..

Ok I promise I am going to work hard today.. Have been a bit frustrated by this case lately and couldn't sleep well last night but I told myself that I am going to try my best and that's it, no point getting frustrated.. I told myself that all these little things are part of "training" myself to be a better person so I will try to be optimistic, image a better future.. yup!

Waiting

Hi bloggie,

Oops, haven't been updating as much as I want to... I am starting to feel tired and sleepy in the morning at times. Need the time to start my engine.

I think I need more purposeful goals for myself… but for now my mind is just focused on my maternity leave. And perhaps I am also feeling more tired than usual.Being tired makes me not want to walk more to the wards also as I am trying to cut down on walking. Which is so unlike me cos I hate to be deskbound.The highlights these days are feeling the tummy bump that is moving most of the time, feeling the hands and the legs of baby.. and being reminded that I am not alone.. =) L

Anyway I looked through the photo album that I made for Pau and I, looks nice to reminisce through the old memories and read the little comments for each photo. I want to do that more J I think I like series of “little projects” to motivate myself and make life more interesting. If not, it is going to be so boring. So I am starting on Im’s scrapbook soon!

I also started to wash Im’s clothes. Got more clothes from Jerrell’s mum. Hee, happy happy! J I am starting to feel more excited but I think the real excitement won’t set in until I have started on my leave. It is going to be much nearer to the due date! I saw a few pics of newborn recently and conclude that they are not cute, only after 1/2 days when they look "cleaner", hee.

Anyway I am also excited abt the make up project, doing bridal make up for Ratna! Yea, will be doing it with Cheryl. What makes me a bit apprehensive is doing the hairstyles, I am trying to practise more and image. What I learnt in Shichida which I like is imaging! :)

Shopping at Expo

Dear bloggie,

Today is the start of a brand new day- Friday!:) hee.. yea and later going to shop for baby stuff with pau at expo. I am feeling stressed because ppl on the forum seeemed to have gotten quite ready for the bb.. and I haven't!

Anyway the reason why I wanted to start blogging more is to be more accountable to myself.. I am feeling quite sian again.. of work.. no motivation and push factor these days. So I need to note down how I spend my day each time. Hopefully it will be better?

Dear bloggie, Just feeling a bit sian and unmotivated in my work these days. Hm, maybe I am jus tired by the mundaneness of it. I was just so busy last week and things seemed to have hit a dull. I dunno. Have things to do but just dun feel like doing somehow. Or just plain procrascinating. Hope that I can start to feel motivated again man. Hmm..

Nua-ing Sunday

Hi bloggie,

yay today is a relaxing Sunday.. slept till abt 11 am, went for lunch at my mum's place to eat my favorite kind of porridge, came home to do housework and watch "House". It's a gd rejuvenating kind of feeling. Only when I am able to relax well then I can face the work week ahead, hee.. Ya anyway I really dun like my colleagues at my workplace, those in the same building.. ya loh. Not that they aren't nice or anything but perhaps just the generation gap. I was sad when my colleague who is around the same age as me left..:( I am thinking of going home for lunch tmr.. cheaper, healthier and I like the idea of going home to eat and recharge. Can even watch 15 minutes of my Japanese drama.. I really dun like to spend time eating with ppl I dun like, haha..

Work is getting quite admin these days. Makes me think of what being a social worker is all about.. sigh. I am jus not working in the right places ba.. but I have the chance to work now then work loh.. but I am trying to find meaning in my work. As long as I can convince myself that I am making a difference, I do find fulfillment everyday. That is quite important to me, must find meaning. I like the idea of earning and being able to spend again.. to go online shopping and dun have to worry that I can't spend because I am not earning. It's really a release to me man.. haha.. shop for maternity clothes, accessories, even not buying anything but having the option to be able to buy.. :)

Guess everything can't be perfect, so I shall try to be happy and then jus spend the time waiting for baby to arrive. Baby is growing well, I hope everything will be ok during the detailed scan. I just went for a parenting talk yesterday.. made me fearful abt giving birth but also understood more abt the joys of parenting. They emphasize quite a bit on the importance of a drug free birth and breastfeeding. I am pretty convinced not to use epidural but to try an all natural birth. Hope I can be brave enough.. :)

working working

Hi Bloggie!

Wow was so tired to update in you nowadays that I am working.. hee.. but at least I am quite happy.. still got lots of things to learn.. taking time, hope wun be stressed up by the demands.. but I tell myself as long as not a life and death matter, I can try my best to learn.. now is to focus on staying for 6 mths and getting my maternity leave!!

Outing with PF and IS

Hi Bloggie,

It was fun yesterday, enjoyed myself when I got out of my "jail house", hehe.. went to teach Jerrell and since I was going to Woodlands, I met Pf for lunch first, ate at Wendy's. I sure like their burger and their fries:) So walked around a bit and went off to teach. He stays in a cosy and quite big house, a hdb but those with 3 rooms and a big living room.. nice for the children to run around in.. now I kinda wish I have a bigger house.. for the kids next time, like some play corner. hee..

I enjoy teaching Jerrell because he is such a gd boy and he really has many toys.. haha.. showed me all his animal kaizer cards.. so funny.. he and his sister are such cute and lovable children. In the evening I met IS for dinner at sushi tei.. went to Spring Maternity because Joan recommended that the clothes are ok and not so expensive. The clothes look like some of the clothes I have, haha.. IS also bought a book for me to record all the happenings during pregnancy, she said it's so ME so have to get it.. hee.. I also bought a new year blouse for myself.. Then we also arranged to sing ktv on Monday since it's her off day, yea!



I added in the dried flowers to make it look more nature-like, hee..

Anyway I was telling Pau that I probably just feel alone in the journey ba, because there are no friends of mine who are pregnant.. but of course I am not alone, there is baby with me.. hee.. and also because I need to do stuff kind. Jerrell mummy was saying it is important for me to be happy. I know I am feeling either normal or down at times cos I am bored.. happiness requires effort like trying to create a feeling. It's not easy cos I feel happy when I have things to do/ job satisfaction/company of friends (which is less these days cos ppl are working on weekdays). So without all these, it's less easy to be happy.. but I still can be.. trying to appreciate the simple things, teaching, doing materials, prob going to start on my scrapbooking? Meeting up occasionally with friends..

But anyway I think that I also want to take some courses, take an exam. Was interested to take ACCA but the closing date for June exam is over so I was thinking if I have time, will register for CFA, it's going to be really tough for me since I do not have much background but it's at alternative, something for me to work hard at first:)

2nd visit to the gynae

Hi bloggie,

Wow I had such a bad experience yesterday when I puked 6 times in the morning, really record breaking for me. Scary. Such a horrible experience just because I woke up too quickly to off the alarm. Almost thought that I couldn't go to for my 2nd appointment to the gynae already. But luckily still manage to go and didn't puked anymore outside, bought 4 plastic bags out just in case. When I reach home, I just lied on the sofa like some invalid, I couldn't do much cos I was still giddy and I wasn't sleepy so I just stared at the ceiling until I feel sian and close my eyes. Couldn't really think of anything much also.. Anyway baby is fine and my appt is in one month's time..:) But I am going to change doc, dun like the old doc much and he also forgot to give me the photo of the ultra scan:(



Yay Mj bought 2 boxes of bird nest for me. Franky speaking I think it's one of the first times I have taken bird nest. Remembered buying it for my mum/dad during one of the mother's or father's day. But it was nice, with rock sugar.. yum..



On Sunday, Adrian and Joan visited us to have lunch. They bought baby darryl.. so cute.. hee.. he's always smiling and jus love gurgling and talking.. Hope my baby is going to be a happy baby too.. take after my happy side and not my dramatic mood swings side.. haha. They also shared with us many things before and after giving birth, looks like there is really a lot to learn! And Joan is great, dun mind just staying at home one.. envy her.. hm I think I can too.. getting quite used to it,cos there are still things to be done at home too.. just make use of the time well.. :)

Golden mask

Hi Bloggie,

It's a Fri! I look forward to it cos there are things happening on Sat.. hee.. Things are brightening up for me a little.. I dun feel so depressed anymore, maybe cos I have overcome the knots in my heart. Perhaps I have been so busy over such a long time that I needed time to get used to the silence, the breaks in my life, which are important as well.

But anyway I was feeling ok yesterday, went swimming and then came home to cook dinner!


Cooked 3 dishes
1) Brocolli with carrots and crabmeat
2) scrambled egg
3) Lemon chicken (the really white dish) For this one just prepare the chicken, mix with beaten egg and cornflour and then cook it with the sauce)

Turned out to be quite ok! Hee, at least edible! The brocolli needs to be improved, maybe add more water? But it's soft, tested it quite a few times, brocolli really needs time to be cooked..

In the evening, I put on this golden mask that my friend bought for me! Check it out!



Pau was trying to camouflage with our yellow cupboard.. can u still see him?

I might be doing my first bridal make up soon.. a bit scared, wanted to turn it down at first.. wanted to try some prom nights assignments first. But heck, in Addy's dictionary, it's abt grabbing opportunities.

Anyway I was quite touched yesterday when pf msged me and asked how I was.. said if I am bored, there's always an unemployed friend still and I could always ask her out.. hee.. so yea I am not alone! :)

Spending time with mommy

Hi bloggie,

My mum just started taking leave on Monday for the chn new year to do spring cleaning and making her ngoh hiang. Waa.. she is just so hardworking. hee.. dunno la, I dunno if I can just spend the whole day alone making ngoh hiang on my own. I realise I am the kind which must be pushed by ppl to do things. Maybe once in a while I can do things, but now I am in those moods that I need company.

I guess I am still pretty lucky and everything, cos I can get to teach one of my ex students Jerrell again. The mum is really nice.. yea from first term when I taught him 4 years ago, she was very supportive of me as a new teacher. So now she is asking me to teach him and hope I can continue to guide him even though I left. And the best part is she dun mind me stopping anytime when I have a full time job. Ya loh, from what I know of her, she's a really gd mummy too.. every week, she will bring Jerrell out and now plus his sis. Now a 3rd one's coming. :)

Anyway after going for a few interviews, I think I have an idea of what I want..
1) don't want to do direct social work, think not suited for it
2) educational ok if not on weekends
3) planning for social services is ok as well
4) general healthcare planning

So yup, hopefully can have something I want to do soon.. haven't done much cooking this month though I wanted to, cos mainly I have no mood when I dun feel well at home at times. Like can't stand up for long. Appetite isn't good also, I dun like eating, I dun like drinking coffee.. so now feeling a bit lost :| So probably will just want to read a bk/watch show. So now, savouring every min of it ba.. hope things are going to be ok!

Another new beginning

Dear bloggie,

Just discovered I was really pregnant recently. Need to sort out some thoughts. Admist happiness and all, I guess there are some issues clouding my mind. Guess that's life, everything just happens quite fast.. sometimes without u planning for it. And somehow, I just don't like things that are so unplanned sometimes. I really need the time to settle these thoughts, then I can be strong and move on.

Just spoke to my aunt. I think I want to be psychologically strong for my baby! So perhaps the best thing I really could do is to find some tuition and be active. Yup! Will try my best to be optimistic!:)

First sign of life..

That's me at 5 weeks old! The small spot near the bottom.