Hi Bloggie,
I just kind of broke down last night. Just cried and cried. I think I have been feeling very stifled and down for sometime. Then after the interview yesterday, I just feel kinda depressed and negative abt everything, just hit a low. Which I am not sure what exactly triggered it. Maybe excessive boredom built up over time. I envy ppl who can do one thing for the whole day eg. watch drama, play computer games, a hobby, whatever. It is actually a kind of peace to be able to do that. It can be negative or positive. Being so easily restless has made me do things that I might not have attempted or learn how to do eg, cooking, baking, learning Japanese, learning driving, learning jewelery etc. So I have been really proud of myself:) It can be a boon or a bane. This trait of mine has only been more obvious to me when I started working. And now it's striking right in front of my face. I can never have nothing to do for no longer then a month.
But anyway, the time of the year has come again.. time to set some new goals... though things are uncertain now without me having a fixed job yet. But it's ok, waiting is always painful. I do know how to counsel myself. Whether it's waiting for a miracle to happen after as series of unfortunate events, the love of your life, the results of something you worked hard for and sometimes even waiting for the bus when you are extremely late - something as small as that. Yes, waiting is indeed painful... but! I will try to treasure the process:)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Dec 2010 Accomplishments
Hi bloggie!
I was a bit upset that I didn't get the learning --- job, it was quite a downer in the evening when I was all ready to go and run. It's very convenient to go, flexi hrs and high pay. Feels quite depressing because for those jobs I was more interested in, I didn't get it. But today, I feel ok already, I think I will normally get upset for a while, maybe for the day and will get over it. Well, if it's not meant for me, it's ok, God has better plans, I must learn to trust! :)
I went swimming again just now. Swimming gives me a chance to think through what I want to do after swimming. It's nice. Though I can feel quite lazy and not wanting to go before that. So after I came back, I decided I am going to drink my fruit tea and then read my newsweek in the room. I realised that environment is impt in reading.. hee so when I am focused, I dun feel bored. It's only when the activity is insufficient in consuming me, I feel bored again. Read abt ppl in Afganistan suffering from ptsd even after the war, abt antibiotics possibly causing side effects soon, the need to grow new organs - next time we can even grow a brain - perfect and empty. gee.
Ok what did I do this month? I wanted to cook or prepare food 8 times this mth. I did it for 6 times.
1) Soup - carrots, potatos, fishballs, crabmeat
2) Salad
3) Potato with tuna (still must learn to do it properly)
4) tried again but hm..
5) Beehoon (a bit wet, must put less water in future)
6) Vegetables with carrot, onion omelet and sweet and sour fish, 3 dishes!!
Hm so by right, I probably did try 8 dishes :P I must learn how to cut carrots properly like my mum and also how to make potato tuna nice. haha.. my goals for next mth.
I printed Christmas cards and photos for friends, make up artist namecards for kids' parents.
I printed our Japan pics yesterday, have yet to update the journal.
I finished watching House Season 2.
I started looking through my Japanese notes again yesterday. I really missed the language and my teacher. I can remember when I looked through but it's different if u have to use it in conversation. Nvm, I shall continue packing and studying the notes and see if I want to try the exam next year.
I am going to start practising my hair on my mannequin soon. Ade asked me to help her 10 bridesmaid to do make up during her wedding, it's in April. Nothing is confirmed yet but I must still try to build up my confidence:)
I am going for an interview at k-- hospital. Not very interested but I want to see the nice hospital that ppl are talking abt:) yea, we will see how it goes. Distance matters a lot to me actually. Ya only if along NE line or Circle line I will most probably consider. Or direct bus half hr.
I was a bit upset that I didn't get the learning --- job, it was quite a downer in the evening when I was all ready to go and run. It's very convenient to go, flexi hrs and high pay. Feels quite depressing because for those jobs I was more interested in, I didn't get it. But today, I feel ok already, I think I will normally get upset for a while, maybe for the day and will get over it. Well, if it's not meant for me, it's ok, God has better plans, I must learn to trust! :)
I went swimming again just now. Swimming gives me a chance to think through what I want to do after swimming. It's nice. Though I can feel quite lazy and not wanting to go before that. So after I came back, I decided I am going to drink my fruit tea and then read my newsweek in the room. I realised that environment is impt in reading.. hee so when I am focused, I dun feel bored. It's only when the activity is insufficient in consuming me, I feel bored again. Read abt ppl in Afganistan suffering from ptsd even after the war, abt antibiotics possibly causing side effects soon, the need to grow new organs - next time we can even grow a brain - perfect and empty. gee.
Ok what did I do this month? I wanted to cook or prepare food 8 times this mth. I did it for 6 times.
1) Soup - carrots, potatos, fishballs, crabmeat
2) Salad
3) Potato with tuna (still must learn to do it properly)
4) tried again but hm..
5) Beehoon (a bit wet, must put less water in future)
6) Vegetables with carrot, onion omelet and sweet and sour fish, 3 dishes!!
Hm so by right, I probably did try 8 dishes :P I must learn how to cut carrots properly like my mum and also how to make potato tuna nice. haha.. my goals for next mth.
I printed Christmas cards and photos for friends, make up artist namecards for kids' parents.
I printed our Japan pics yesterday, have yet to update the journal.
I finished watching House Season 2.
I started looking through my Japanese notes again yesterday. I really missed the language and my teacher. I can remember when I looked through but it's different if u have to use it in conversation. Nvm, I shall continue packing and studying the notes and see if I want to try the exam next year.
I am going to start practising my hair on my mannequin soon. Ade asked me to help her 10 bridesmaid to do make up during her wedding, it's in April. Nothing is confirmed yet but I must still try to build up my confidence:)
I am going for an interview at k-- hospital. Not very interested but I want to see the nice hospital that ppl are talking abt:) yea, we will see how it goes. Distance matters a lot to me actually. Ya only if along NE line or Circle line I will most probably consider. Or direct bus half hr.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Passion
Oh yea! Read finish "Coraline", haha so interesting:)
Hm anyway I really want to do TICK for passion, if I get the learning - job, then maybe can follow my passion, cos dun have to worry so much abt $ :P
Hm anyway I really want to do TICK for passion, if I get the learning - job, then maybe can follow my passion, cos dun have to worry so much abt $ :P
Need to engage myself meaningfully
Hi bloggie..
I started the day wrong again by waking up late.. 9 something instead of the usual 7am when Pau goes off for work. But he was on leave today though he had to wake up early to go to the dentist. So we slept very late last night and I started feeling unwell. So thought to rest more. So when I woke up, I feel quite aimless again. We slept very late also because we had an almost 3 hr discussion with Isa abt TICK. We didn't realise it was so hard at first.. Yep..and I think due to various reasons, we were both a bit sian over several issues. Pau is like the middle man listening to our accts. I very much still want to do and have something on my own, but it is not easy to have a class. It's a meaningful experience ba and I was glad to have something to engage in when we left:) SO now maybe we will stick with private students and see if we can share materials all that. Also, Isa is engaged in Nurture now. Although she always put TICK in front of her still..
But anyway yesterday I went to Mindchamps reading interview, the environment is quite nice and Esther, the one in charge of the centre was a nice lady too.. it really sounds interesting so if I am selected, will see if I can go for the training. If we do not have TICK, chances are I can go for the training. Learning ___ also called me yesterday and asked me to send my certificates to them. If I am suitable then they will call me up for interview. Pau was telling me how gd their syllabus is and the pay is really very good man, if I can get the job and get the mindchamps thing, I will be very happy already:) Will also be teaching different things so wun be bored. yep.
But if not, will just be patient and spend my time meaningfully!
Hm, I still haven't update my journal abt Japan, print photos, practise my hair and make up.
I also want to start on the few 1000 pieces jigsaw I have, hee.. Suddenly I also feel a bit "released" if we do not do TICK, then I have space in the room to do other stuff, of cos I wanted to see it work, but since having classes are difficult and we can't publicize now so it's a bit of a stuck situation. SO in the end, Isa kinda became the "bad person" who wanted to give up first. Ok, there are definitely things to do, I just have to learn to structure my time:)
I started the day wrong again by waking up late.. 9 something instead of the usual 7am when Pau goes off for work. But he was on leave today though he had to wake up early to go to the dentist. So we slept very late last night and I started feeling unwell. So thought to rest more. So when I woke up, I feel quite aimless again. We slept very late also because we had an almost 3 hr discussion with Isa abt TICK. We didn't realise it was so hard at first.. Yep..and I think due to various reasons, we were both a bit sian over several issues. Pau is like the middle man listening to our accts. I very much still want to do and have something on my own, but it is not easy to have a class. It's a meaningful experience ba and I was glad to have something to engage in when we left:) SO now maybe we will stick with private students and see if we can share materials all that. Also, Isa is engaged in Nurture now. Although she always put TICK in front of her still..
But anyway yesterday I went to Mindchamps reading interview, the environment is quite nice and Esther, the one in charge of the centre was a nice lady too.. it really sounds interesting so if I am selected, will see if I can go for the training. If we do not have TICK, chances are I can go for the training. Learning ___ also called me yesterday and asked me to send my certificates to them. If I am suitable then they will call me up for interview. Pau was telling me how gd their syllabus is and the pay is really very good man, if I can get the job and get the mindchamps thing, I will be very happy already:) Will also be teaching different things so wun be bored. yep.
But if not, will just be patient and spend my time meaningfully!
Hm, I still haven't update my journal abt Japan, print photos, practise my hair and make up.
I also want to start on the few 1000 pieces jigsaw I have, hee.. Suddenly I also feel a bit "released" if we do not do TICK, then I have space in the room to do other stuff, of cos I wanted to see it work, but since having classes are difficult and we can't publicize now so it's a bit of a stuck situation. SO in the end, Isa kinda became the "bad person" who wanted to give up first. Ok, there are definitely things to do, I just have to learn to structure my time:)
Monday, December 20, 2010
An inspiring story
Spotted something?:)
Hi bloggie!
Just searching for some story http://www.heartwarmingstories.net/ online to say during my interview tmr.. hee.. yea I think I like this story a lot http://www.promiseofgod/coffeebean, very cute and I think the priest has read it during a novena long long time ago before. :) Hm made me think also, what is the most inspiring story u have ever heard? Which made one of the most lasting impressions on you?
Yea, anyway spent sometime talking to Pau abt the resume writing yesterday. I realise there is never anything I really WANT to do so much that I will really spend a lot of effort on it.. haha.. which is bad.. and maybe cos I fear disappointment too, if put so much effort then dun get it how. Anyway Recru-- asked me if I wanted to take TTS- MSW under TB department.. but after that I told them I am still looking around and see. Dun want to rush into anything yet. I know I will find something I want in the end, just don't want to make the wrong move by being too hasty.. cos a job is like half of my life.
So now it's abt spending time fruitfully, which I must plan for myself. Went swimming in the morning, Novena for noon mass, watched 2 episodes of House. I am off to read my news before I go out to catch a movie, shall plan what to watch too:)
Monday was like suffering from Monday blues, feel a bit lost over what to do. Managed to read finish "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman. Nice! :)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Japanese class idea
Hi bloggie!
Hee, wanted to update yesterday abt the happenings but was distracted and did not manage to update. I am trying to cultivate this habit into my life so I can be accountable to myself:) I just finished watching one of the episodes of Dr House Season 2. It's a hobby that I do almost everyday in the mornings:) It's nice when u can follow the story too.. though it's episode by episode, there is an underlying storyline that continues, for example between Stacy and Dr House; Foreman and Dr House. Haha, no one can be like him man, trying new things, new cures, breaking rules and all but ppl dun care when the results are positive or one breaking of rule causes them to find an obscure reason for the symptoms. Nice!
I went back to sleep after pau went for work cos I was still very tired. Then woke up at abt 10, spent yesterday morning doing t.i.c.k stuff.. finding pictures for the kite flying theme. It was quite nice. And now, still searching for materials for making a kite. Shall try to get the fishing string and canes from art friend. Actually I really enjoy doing this, it "consumes" me as I devise ways on how to do things. This feeling is great because it is not like my normal distracted self.
I went off to my old house for lunch and went popular to get tracing paper. On my way back, I thought abt Amelia and whether the Japanese lesson was any gd for her. I remembered that for my own class, there is constant repetition and teachers have lots of pictures. Thought abt an idea in which I can invent my own program, maybe ten lessons on basics like numbers, animals, common words for children. One kid is maybe $50 and if there is another friends each pay $45 and two friends, $40. Along this line. Got quite excited abt the idea! Haha, one of the things I would like to do if I can dig out the time. Something I am passionate abt.
I applied for two jobs, one medical social worker at re----- express and Mind------. Both replied within the same day. Going for the former interview today. Actually I am not very interested but I want to continue to get the hang of interviews. Practice practice:) We see how. The latter one will be on Wednesday. Which I think I will really like. Reading to children!! But they have a bond, we shall discuss and see how:)
It was quite a fruitful day for me, at zi char with my parents, Pau managed to download some of Neil Gaiman books for me on kindle. I am happy!!
Hee, wanted to update yesterday abt the happenings but was distracted and did not manage to update. I am trying to cultivate this habit into my life so I can be accountable to myself:) I just finished watching one of the episodes of Dr House Season 2. It's a hobby that I do almost everyday in the mornings:) It's nice when u can follow the story too.. though it's episode by episode, there is an underlying storyline that continues, for example between Stacy and Dr House; Foreman and Dr House. Haha, no one can be like him man, trying new things, new cures, breaking rules and all but ppl dun care when the results are positive or one breaking of rule causes them to find an obscure reason for the symptoms. Nice!
I went back to sleep after pau went for work cos I was still very tired. Then woke up at abt 10, spent yesterday morning doing t.i.c.k stuff.. finding pictures for the kite flying theme. It was quite nice. And now, still searching for materials for making a kite. Shall try to get the fishing string and canes from art friend. Actually I really enjoy doing this, it "consumes" me as I devise ways on how to do things. This feeling is great because it is not like my normal distracted self.
I went off to my old house for lunch and went popular to get tracing paper. On my way back, I thought abt Amelia and whether the Japanese lesson was any gd for her. I remembered that for my own class, there is constant repetition and teachers have lots of pictures. Thought abt an idea in which I can invent my own program, maybe ten lessons on basics like numbers, animals, common words for children. One kid is maybe $50 and if there is another friends each pay $45 and two friends, $40. Along this line. Got quite excited abt the idea! Haha, one of the things I would like to do if I can dig out the time. Something I am passionate abt.
I applied for two jobs, one medical social worker at re----- express and Mind------. Both replied within the same day. Going for the former interview today. Actually I am not very interested but I want to continue to get the hang of interviews. Practice practice:) We see how. The latter one will be on Wednesday. Which I think I will really like. Reading to children!! But they have a bond, we shall discuss and see how:)
It was quite a fruitful day for me, at zi char with my parents, Pau managed to download some of Neil Gaiman books for me on kindle. I am happy!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The reason for the blog
Hi bloggie,
I have come to blogged again as I entered a new phrase in life.. now I am considered as "married" which is nothing but a title that comes with new responsibilites. For now:) But still I have to considered "life" after the marriage and what I want to do now. Coincidentally (actually it was planned) I have also quitted my job and now I must find something to do with my life again. I have actually always longed for this phrase because I can finally do something on my own. That I will be so desperate financially that I will try ways and means to find what I want to do and support myself. But this phrase is always hard I guess. Because searching comes with struggling..
I have come to blogged again as I entered a new phrase in life.. now I am considered as "married" which is nothing but a title that comes with new responsibilites. For now:) But still I have to considered "life" after the marriage and what I want to do now. Coincidentally (actually it was planned) I have also quitted my job and now I must find something to do with my life again. I have actually always longed for this phrase because I can finally do something on my own. That I will be so desperate financially that I will try ways and means to find what I want to do and support myself. But this phrase is always hard I guess. Because searching comes with struggling..
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