Dear Bloggie,
Something happened to me last Thurs that left me feeling quite terrorized. My house was broken into. I did not realise I would feel so scared. Lost almost 1 kg over the weekend. Gosh, when before that, I was trying quite hard to lose already. It was also a gd thing that I did not keep valuables in the master bedroom.
The fear is that someone can actually enter the hse. Makes it seem so unsafe although the person jus want the money. I think I am scared that someone will jus burst through the door one day when I am bathing or watching tv. What are the chances that ur house will actually be broken into?
I am still trying to convince myself to be brave... yup to psycho myself. I can do it. If there is any intruder I will master up my anger to punch the person. I will take precautions to protect myself.
Anyway I also feel sad.. because we have always been nice ppl, even when we had picked up $80 last time, we donated the money to church.. the thought that someone was out to hurt us, sometimes jus makes one feel quite lousy, like what is the point of doing gd things right? ya those were the thoughts that came to me..
And also, we tried pretty hard to scrimp and save normally.. even pau seemed to have changed.. ask me continue take my facial package.. save so hard for what right.. maybe I should jus try applying for mo_.. also doing gd things ma.. even ppl want to steal from a swker.. :( who can't even seem to make ends meet in s'pore.. sianz
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mommified
Hi Bloggie,
I have been settling well into the routine of being a mummy.. haha.. getting better at deciphering imm's moods and wants through his whimpers and odd sounds. I have also been cooking more these days! cos I figured I would need to.. sometimes I am really sian of eating outside food.. next time have to cook for kids and hubby.. so might as well use the time to start now:) hee.. but I am kinda lazy still. So far the dishes I have been trying out are french beans, caixin, fish, pork.. all successful! they are more edible than before and I feel a sense of achievement!
I have also been racking my brains over how to have more income in future.. gee, want to have enough and also be able to spend time with kids leh.. hm dunno how the make up sessions will turn out. Have been quite stressed over it. I keep telling myself that as long as I try my best, I will have no regrets! yet, also have the fear of ppls's remarks dampening my confidence. I am glad still to have many opportunities that I can do this, in a way, I always think that if there are opportunities surrounding an event, it meant that God is telling me to go for it!! Similarly, during the time when I was pushing Imm out, I feel that I can do it instead of going for emergency c-sect because the signs were telling me it it possible. So this is how I get on with life with this kind of mentality. Being pushed by events, hehe..
We jus celebrated Bee's bday. It was really kinda weird, going back to old times as though nothing has changed.. hee.. I am also happy in a way. I remembered feeling a sense of loss when she did not join us for grp outings or activities anymore. Hope it stays that way. It feels like on shaky ground sometimes - the friendship; as I dunno when she will get offended abt something I said.. Hmm let's see..
Happy that I am going out later with Di! Now I must try to group all the things that I want to do together.. haha.. cos I can no longer go out at my whim and fancy..
Anyway this is a peaceful time for me, shall treasure it while it lasts:)
I have been settling well into the routine of being a mummy.. haha.. getting better at deciphering imm's moods and wants through his whimpers and odd sounds. I have also been cooking more these days! cos I figured I would need to.. sometimes I am really sian of eating outside food.. next time have to cook for kids and hubby.. so might as well use the time to start now:) hee.. but I am kinda lazy still. So far the dishes I have been trying out are french beans, caixin, fish, pork.. all successful! they are more edible than before and I feel a sense of achievement!
I have also been racking my brains over how to have more income in future.. gee, want to have enough and also be able to spend time with kids leh.. hm dunno how the make up sessions will turn out. Have been quite stressed over it. I keep telling myself that as long as I try my best, I will have no regrets! yet, also have the fear of ppls's remarks dampening my confidence. I am glad still to have many opportunities that I can do this, in a way, I always think that if there are opportunities surrounding an event, it meant that God is telling me to go for it!! Similarly, during the time when I was pushing Imm out, I feel that I can do it instead of going for emergency c-sect because the signs were telling me it it possible. So this is how I get on with life with this kind of mentality. Being pushed by events, hehe..
We jus celebrated Bee's bday. It was really kinda weird, going back to old times as though nothing has changed.. hee.. I am also happy in a way. I remembered feeling a sense of loss when she did not join us for grp outings or activities anymore. Hope it stays that way. It feels like on shaky ground sometimes - the friendship; as I dunno when she will get offended abt something I said.. Hmm let's see..
Happy that I am going out later with Di! Now I must try to group all the things that I want to do together.. haha.. cos I can no longer go out at my whim and fancy..
Anyway this is a peaceful time for me, shall treasure it while it lasts:)
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